Student-athletes come away with clear message: If you feel something, say something
As former Division I ice hockey player Eric Daddario tells the story of his younger brother’s heroin overdose, he talks about sitting at his sibling’s bedside when doctors told him they wouldn’t be able to save him, recommending he be removed from life support.
“I thought to myself, if he had just made better decisions, if in that moment when he was struggling with severe social anxiety, he had just made the decision to talk with a coach, talk with the teacher, a counselor, or my parents, he could be alive today,” explains Daddario, noting that his brother was an exceptional student-athlete. “He might never have gone down that road of drinking and smoking and more. I resolved that I wanted to help kids learn when to ask for help so they don’t make unhealthy choices and so the people who love them don’t have to go through what I did.”
A Clarkson University graduate, Daddaro was on campus this week as part of the annual, year-long O’Brien Family Student-Athlete Leadership Initiative. He addressed more than 500 high school and middle school winter season student-athletes in attendance, and urged young people to view speaking up as a first step, not the end game. Allowing oneself to be vulnerable and talking about an ongoing issue with a trusted adult is just the beginning.
“When you ask for help, that’s awesome,” he says. “But the work doesn’t stop there. You then have to take the steps that will allow you to start healing and dealing with what you’re going through.”
The hour-long event left a number of Eagles with a lasting impression.
“For me, I thought it was a really strong message,” said Gael Garcia ’25, a three-season competitor at the Prep in football and track & field. “As athletes, we tend to think that we’re strong enough to do and handle everything ourselves. It was pretty reassuring to have (Mr. Daddario) emphasize that the adults on campus are here for us. Without going any further than the (Mahoney Wellness Center), there are adults here who are more than coaches or trainers. They’re super-friendly and you end up having all kinds of conversations with them. If I was having a problem, I’d feel comfortable going to them.”
In his most recent visit to campus, New England Patriots Offensive Coordinator Bill O’Brien ’88 told an audience, “Where I really started to learn about leadership was here at St. John’s. My teachers, coaches, and the guys I was around all had a strong sense of character and values. They believed in supporting you.” Now, he and his wife, Colleen, have put that belief into action.
Focusing on sportsmanship, teamwork, perseverance and grit, this collaborative, student- and coach-focused program develops and enhances leadership and learning opportunities for both young people and the adults who mentor and advise them. Daddario came to campus as part of O’Brien Leadership Initiative programming.
“Eric speaks from the perspective of personal tragedy within his own family, which is powerful,” said Jameson Pelkey, St. John’s Prep athletic director. “I think his core message is, if something’s truly upsetting you, the solution is as simple as speaking up. But he also underscores that message by acknowledging there are nerves and apprehension attached to doing so—a natural fear of being judged. I think it was good for the kids to hear that as challenging as speaking up may be, it could be a game-changer. It could keep you safe. And everywhere they look, there’s an adult here on campus who’s eager to help.”
Daddario, a native of Medford, asks students to internalize three realities about any difficulties they may be having. First, that whatever they might be battling, whether they think so or not, there are many adults in their life who truly care about them. Secondly, no one is ever going to realize they are struggling unless they themselves bring it to someone’s attention. Lastly, whatever it is they’re going through, somebody else has already been through it, which means they are tough enough and strong enough to get through it as well.
“I want them to remember they are worth whatever fight they are facing, either right now, or the fights they face in the future,” he says.
Joey Scherkenbach ’25 was all ears.
“I felt like I could relate to him and his story and especially the idea of it being okay to not be okay—that really resonated,” said Joey Scherkenbach ’25, a three-season distance runner at the Prep. “I, too, am someone who’s naturally averse to letting people know I’m feeling vulnerable. (Daddario) made clear the bigger worry isn’t that speaking up will backfire or make things worse or not help. Speaking up can really help, so avoiding it leaves us open to stuff that affects a lot of us on a daily basis. I think the Prep does a tremendous job of making people feel like help is available.”
In founding their leadership initiative in 2019, the generosity by the O’Brien family remains one of the highpoints of St. John’s seven-year Campaign for GOOD, the largest fundraising initiative in school history to date, which closed in 2020 after raising over $49 million.
“This place is about the people,” he says. “In that respect, leadership starts at the Prep.”